When The Dipshit Hits The Fan

she broke up with him
because he broke her oscillating fan
on a 107 degree day in the Texas summer

with one angry punch
he destroyed the fan
and cut the shit out of his hand

he did this
after invadingly looking at her phone
and seeing a text from someone named Brad

"Can't wait to see your sexy little ass
next weekend"

he snapped into a jealous rage

but
he felt a complete fool when she told him
"Brad is my gay cousin
you fucking asshole!"