[Detective, i know not where my neighbor's gone]

Detective, i know not where my neighbor's gone

But i do not miss him critiquing my lawn

Calling the police when my music was loud

Ending my parties if he thought too big the crowd

Oh, that neighbor of mine

How he would rant, and rave

What's that you ask?

In my backyard?

No, that's not a grave

Detective, i have planted some flowers to give to the ladies

There are roses, lilies, and even some dasies

To charm lovely women, and get me some kissing

But i swear i know nothing of my neighbor who's missing

Yes, that neighbor of mine
He was rude, and curt
But his body?
In my backyard?
Buried in the dirt?

Detective, please! I insist on telling you once more
While i never got along with the man next door
I certainly didn't beat him over his head so hard
With the shovel i used to dig a plot my yard

True, that neighbor of mine
He was an asshole
But not so much
That i would put
His ass in a hole