Shoes

some nights i talk to them
because i have no pets
and i am alone

i make promises
"tomorrow we will go for a walk"
"tomorrow we will go see a movie"
"tomorrow we will be grateful
that we toughed it out tonight"

"tomorrow..."
"tomorrow..."
"tomorrow..."

because i have no pets
and i am all alone
so it is important to obligate myself

necessary to make commitments
that get my mind out the night
before the night does me in

i am not going to make a pun about
soles and souls

i know that my shoes are not conscious
i know that i am just talking to myself
i know that nobody really cares

but i guess
i do

so i talk to my shoes

because there is no god
because i have no pets
because i am all alone

The End of the Wick

the puff of smoke dances upward
and breaks apart

a small pool of wax hardens into a memory

once one with the flame
time has taken its toll
and a last breath
extinguished

but only for this candle

there are others

each burns away into the quiets of night
always knowing that when one fire goes out
another will light

hard hands hold softly 

the last petal of a rose 

to not break what's left 

I Am the Missing Key

i reminisce

being part of something

that created such a beautiful sound

i was only one note

yet i could bring great

and many affect

but

nonetheless 

what i most lament 

and also delight in

is knowing that the piano

will still make music

without me

no sense in an oar
the sea will make its own plans
i'm just drifting through

Life is Shit

and
everyday
i'm just trying not to
run out of toilet paper

A Song She Wrote in a Dream

as her eyes broke open

most of it washed away

in a dry wave of consciousness

there were a few drops

left near the corners of her bottom lip

not enough for her to remember

how it tasted

but enough to not forget

tasting it

an anthem for ghosts

ballad for a winter's breath

a song falling toward
the most unknown parts of the abyss

a place that might as well

never existed

heartfelt echoes of nothing

1994

whatever there was
died
and something else took its
place

the years that followed brought
a violent beating in the street
a dead man
and a woman torn apart by addiction

it was a lot to deal with
and i have never been good at dealing
with anything

i don't want to say i was permanently
traumatized by those events
because i don't want anyone
feeling sorry for me

but i don't want to say that i wasn't
because i don't want to
lie

so instead
maybe i should just say nothing
put on some Mazzy Star
or The Crow soundtrack
close my eyes
and pretend it's
1994

This Prize of Plight

dear is the dream
of life
and all of its horror
war across every border
killers around every corner

sweet is the pain
the pumps blood through
drug ravaged veins
and the polluted air that cuts off
oxygen to the brain

wonderful is the hatred
over-saturated
over-stimulated
until any hint of love
is totally eviscerated

glorious injustice
capitalism egregious
tables tilted to the prestigious
and the deck
is stacked against us

but throughout the cosmos
there are no gods close

no heaven near
no angel to hear
the loudest prayer
from the highest cross to bear

luck of the tragedy
this prize of plight

dear is the dream
of life
from which death wakes at night

Throw Away the Key

the jagged contours of sanity
only upset the gentle shape
of my madness

if they put me in a looney bin
i could find some peace

in a scattered mess of crazy
i could collect my thoughts

but as long as they keep letting me play
normal
they keep slowly killing me

the bills come in
my back goes out
men beat me up
women turn me down
the bosses scream
and the angels have no mouths

and since i never lost my mind
instead
i lost my heart

Head in the Game

life tightens its laces
keeps its legs strong

plays with vigor
enthusiasm
heart

a healthy kick for another goal

i just wish my head
didn't feel like the ball

Don't Dream About Me Anymore

withered skin drapes my bones

a tongue far too tired to taste

those bitter poisons of youth

sweet trappings of memory

will only contort into nightmare

unless you let me die

but you won't 

you keep trying to light a melted candle

just burning wax with no wick

darkness is here

whether you acknowledge it

or not

so stop

looking for the light

it's gone

lay down

count sheep

count your lucky star
if
you ever had one

count me out

come to terms

and go to sleep

and don't dream about me

anymore 

What's in a Name?

one of my coworker's last name
is Guerrero

i told her that my last name
would be similar
if my mom had named me
after my father

she asked what that would be

"Navarro," i told her

"i don't know anyone named Navarro,"
she said

i snickered,
"neither do i"

A Flower He'll Never Know

planted in a far away field
he was too young to know
how to garden

he left it for the dirt
and for the rain
to raise

a stem that crawled on its own
from the soil

each thorn
a mark of self-determination

each petal
blooming with independence

fed only with sunlight and abandonment
it grew
never against the odds
but with them

and photosynthesis became the father
he never had the guts
to be

Winter

we looked back at the snow behind us

and we could see where we were dancing

where we stumbled 

where we fell

it was right there

an album of moments ago

and we stood there taking it all in

trying to make sure we would

remember

because

over any christmas gift

above all the cards in the mail

and every photo

there is no keepsake more precious 

than a memory 

Comic Book Detective Dream

surrounded by borders
everything
including my hands
sketched in black and white pencil

it was most obviously a dream

my dream

so i told her
"hey, i just realised this is a dream. so, if you want me to stop chasing you, i will."

"no thanks," she said

"you don't understand," i exclaimed
grabbing her by the arm
and pulling her back around to me
"i am not a detective!"

she shrugged
"what is your point?"

"my point, sweetheart, is that none of this is real! you don't have to keep running for your life, because you don't really have a life. you can relax! we can just sit here, and talk, ya know, until i wake up."

she winced
"no thanks."

i couldn't believe what i was hearing
that she would rather be hunted down
than to just sit and have a fucking chat

"don't direct your anger at me," she said

i did cast two sneering eyes toward her
but i sank them right back down
to my chest

i knew what she was getting at

she went on, "if this is your dream, and you seem pretty certain that it is, well, this is just you rejecting yourself. if i'm just part of your imagination, that is."

i nodded
"you're right"

i woke up
lifted my head off the pillow
stretched out my lower back
and moved toward the bathroom

as i took a leak
i analyzed the dream
and realised after nine hours of sleep
how tired of myself i am

Girlfriends and Bicycles

i have been through a few

some were stolen from me
others just had to be left behind

it's never easy

sweet memories of summers
warm days where everything seemed right
sting in the cold of their absence

i take comfort in knowing
they are still out there
and i take comfort in knowing
there are others

maybe someday another will find me
but for today
i'm okay being alone
and fine taking a walk

For the Birds

i heard from my grandfather
stories of trees
branches
flowers
and even telephone wires

flocks that flew together
over streaming rivers
swooping down
one at a time
toward schools of fish

tales of migration
north and south

he told me of those
whose feathers had changed
and those whose songs echoed
in the wind

i don't know if his stories were true
but i hope they were
and because of those
stories
i often dream of a day when
we will fly out from this cage
and be the birds
we were always meant to be

I Bleed Salt to the Morning

i hold my wounds together
bandage tightly with old t-shirts
or even staple them shut

i do not allow one drop to the sweet night

i demand that it thirst
as i do
in darkness
as i am

and when the dry morning air
burst through the window
i welcome it like a killer
relieved to be caught