[he lights one last flame]

he lights one last flame
home is where the burning is
bed of devil's rest

[tire takes the pirate]

tire takes the pirate
seeking lost treasures of sleep
sails into goodnight

Born Into Resentment

there is a man i have never met
too often on my thoughts

a woman
for whose thoughts i have had to contend
against other men
alcohol
crystal meth
or herself

for these two strangers
i have always raised anger
just as i raised myself

A Not-So Familiar Face

his wife came in
to the video store i work at
today

i knew who she was
by the last name on her Oregon i.d.

i wondered if she knew who i was
if i looked familiar
if i looked like him

i googled her
when i got home
and found her facebook page

pictures of her and him
on exotic beaches
comfortable
healthy
smiling

she couldn't have recognized me

if i ever did look like him
i don't anymore

Exorcism 

when she doesn't love you

the guts are pulled out from inside

life spills from the bones

and your heart forgets to beat

you become a ghost

trapped to the lips of her rejection

and somehow

only haunting yourself

this is when it is most necessary

to evict that part of your soul

possessed with codependency

and love what she

couldn't

[loading the chamber]

loading the chamber
to kill that which he fears most
one round will suffice

This Sucks

sobering up is a lot
like waking up

you don't really remember your dreams
but you know they were more exciting
than this

and even if the bed's a mess
a part of you ferociously wants
to go back

[Sue lurks near my street]

Sue lurks near my street
I have thoughts of kissing her
but fear to commit

A Letter To My Deathbed

if you alone

hold me as i battle for last breaths

if you alone

bear the burden of the body left behind

if there is no one else in the room

please don't take it personally
should i thrash and curse
in those moments
before eternity captivates me

it will not have been your fault
that i lived in fear of love

Loss and Gains

i will tell the Economist

the same thing I told my math teachers

"i get the numbers, but

i'm concerned about something more important"

so i never argue the dollars and cents of it all

because it's just not about dollars and cents

and there's is no doubt in my heart

that we are losing something

pretty fuckin' valuable

Sommelier

he keeps it bottled
for days like these

vintage destinies rush toward the glass
breaths of dead fruits inhale deeply
and he drowns himself in their requiems

so many nights he has pulled the cork
let apparitions dance over his tongue
swim through his blood

his nose
well accustomed to hints of earth
always fools the palate into believing
he wants this
he needs this
he is this

Just Because It's Raining

it's okay if you want to stay inside
listen to a Bon Iver song on repeat
eat too much ice cream
and think about all the girls
that got away

if feeling sorry for yourself
is what you need today
then by all means

revel in your sorrows as if they were wins
bask in the warm comforts of your dejection
this weather certainly is perfect
for that

but know
that this overcast will pass
and with Spring on the way
the trees
the grass
the flowers
are going to need an admirer

it is important you realize
that just because it's raining
does not mean that the sun isn't
still out there

[drink from the dream cup]

drink from the dream cup
welcome those ghosts of morning
don't fade out, sleep in

[if ever he drowns]

if ever he drowns
a swimmer will miss water
life regrets no death

Some Nights the Guts Are Just Gone

you drag a soul around in a body
and some nights
it's a bag of bricks

wondering if there's anything
left to dream for
suicide enters the mind
and the best you can think is
"not today"

you get through it in one piece
but something stills feels like it's shattered
something's broke in there
and you haven't fixed it yet

what makes you think you ever will?

Right Against the Skin

i can feel you burning for me

you want to be undressed
you need to be touched
right against the skin

you want it rough
to be scratched
so i dig my nails in

pain and elation cocktailed together

but
we can't
keep this up

it's getting to a point where i can
barely control myself with you
in public

it has to stop

so i want you to know
that tomorrow
i'm going to Walgreen's
to get some athlete's foot spray

College

he dropped all of his classes
and walked from campus
to Lake Michigan

the question of what to do with his life
was only answered with
"you're too young to play it safe"

so he didn't

mastering bars for the cheapest drinks
and the safest stumbles home
he played with the incorrigibles 

eleventh hour parties with crazies
it was easy to blend in

the whole thing was cliche
but he never minded cliches
so he kept at it

he got good at it

one girlfriend called him
"the best drinker ever"
never minding the tone in her voice
he took pride in it

heartbreaks were another addiction

he knew that fuckin' pain was coming
he would do it anyway
he had to

when it did finally come
he would almost welcome it
take it for a hellbent joyride
creeping around seedier bars
partaking in seedier activities

it was all part of the story
he had to have a story

and now that he has one
he's gotta figure out an end

and whether
or not
the next one
is a sequel

To the Lonesome of the Club

when his jam comes on

one second in

an electric burst hits his gut

he pulls his shoulders upright

bites the left side of his bottom lip

and starts to move his head to the tempo

over to the crowded dance floor

gorgeous women and gorgeous men

try their best to keep rhythm

he knows his body

he knows this beat

and his shoes can destroy this track

but he glances instead

at the empty seat beside him

swivels back to the bar

puts his eyes back down

and drinks

to the lonesome of the club

[sound becomes idea]

sound becomes idea

phenomenon of music

as to hear a soul

Of All the Angels

i am the one
most concerned with popularity

found my way into castles
to meet with kings and queens

crashed parties with celebrities
movie folk, politicos, and wealth dynasties

invited (myself) into homes
all over the world

more often introduced to the weak
drunks in the taverns
junkies
suicides
the terminally-ill
the malnourished
victims of this and that

but
eventually
i make it a point to meet everyone

Horse

i drag this carriage

with a whip at my back

slowly leading them

to their destinations

to their privileges

i hear the clop of my hooves

against the stone of their streets

and it is a dirge of captivity

it plays

repetitiously reminding me

that i wear this bridle for life

that running into the wild and free

and galloping only at the behest of my heart

is an unobtainable dream

that i live

abandoned of hope

to enable man's aspirations of idleness

To The Police

as a rule, i consider your rule of law to be suspect
under the scrutiny of my humanity
tractable keepers of the state

honesty is an event
obstructive to injustice
readily dismissed in cases of dissent

insurrection is righteous
truths are without need for badges 

your authority is not to be recognized

[long, she's to suffer]

long, she's to suffer
an angel upon a knee
sifts through the clippings

[she passes a man]

she passes a man
but her scent is the full moon
and a wolf follows

[to taste the darkness]

to taste the darkness
our tongues must first burn by light
balance of palate

[his reckless ego]

his reckless ego
gallivants through the party
hunting a good time

Where There's a Will

i began to tell a grim story

of a puppy left alone

beneath an overcast sky

at first i saw a lost dog

sad and without

a way

but then i thought of his strength

as he would have to

make one

Loneliness

when it is most impossible
to be there
for yourself

As Close As We Will Ever Be

peering into your eyes

i am trying to understand you

hoping to know you

a little better with each glance

when the world is mad

i want to save it for you

but i can't

when love is distracted

i want to get its attention for you

but i can't

and when all you want

is a couple arms to wrap around you

just to be able to feel the sensation of touch

reciprocation of a warm embrace

i want to hold you

but i can't

for this is as close as we will ever be

as long as this mirror is between us

All The Songs

i love music

i know
everyone does
but i really do

nothing can soothe me as much as
the right song at the right time
(and on the opposite end)
nothing can disgust me
more than obviously shitty music

but i guess that's subjective
as Nickleback keeps packing stadiums
and my brilliant buddy Henry is
livin' on end's meat

the thing that bothers me most
when i ponder my own death
is thinking of all the songs
i will never get to hear

i've never been one to believe
all the good music has already been made

but i also think of all the songs
that were written before i was born
before recorded music

forgotten songs
written by forgotten men

so i've made it my priority in life
to hear as much music as possible

records
cds
tapes
youtube videos

all the songs i can listen to
before the dastardly prince of death
comes to bring me silence

[red shades of disco]

red shades of disco 
dancing too close with monsters
burning hearts and feet

The Grape

he does not to leave

out of any loathing for the vine

he simply can not stay

waiting around to turn to raisin

knowing that out there somewhere

the souls of his brothers

encased in wine bottles

have not only lived life

but they have

fermented it

and he can not breathe

until he is with them

[all of us, boxers]

all of us, boxers
in the brutal ring of life
taking jabs for love

[i was called by god]

i was called by god
but i could not answer him
he should have texted

[was afraid of heights]

was afraid of heights
until i looked at my back
and saw i have wings

Solvency

sorting through the debts
overwhelmed with overdrafts
lapsed bills pile up
viable options dwindle down
expendable income non-existent
no way out
credit is shit
you can only dream of solvency

Fillings

i show up
for my second appointment in two days
to mend the disrepair of my mouth
rotten tokens of neglect

cavities are drilled away
and the holes plastered over
with tooth-colored composites

i smile in front of the mirror
and it is the most pristine vision
i have seen in more than a decade

now
if only i could find
a dentist for the soul

Rice

dehydrated

my heart became small

hardened by the air of hopelessness

with
a little time
some water

it has grown and changed

softened to the tooth of love

Eclipse 3

darkness does not pass suddenly
nor does the light surrounding it

though her love was a shadow
i reticently remember
hints of a star

[desperate, he looks]

desperate, he looks
in the places left behind
for abandoned dreams

If Your Baby Were a Poem

i would be excited to hold it
tickle its little belly
and watch it laugh

if it cried
i would search enthusiastically
for a warm bottle to feed it
a fresh diaper to soothe it
a soft toy to pamper it

i would be more than happy
to look at photos for hours on end
and hear your stories of
when you found out
where it was conceived
what you hope for its future

if your baby were a poem
you could always count on me
as a sitter

but as it is
i'm just not that fascinated
by your little bundle of joy

The Apocalypse Diet

when governments fall
the power goes out
and civilization is in the shambles
of its own undoing

Uncle Dan has plenty of survival gear
and a plan to make it
out in the nowheres

when i ask him
what he's going to do out there
with no t.v. and no internet
he excitedly says
"i'll probably lose some weight"

She Stole This Song

i have to take my fair share of the blame

loved this song
from the moment i heard it
and shouldn't be surprised
that she loved it too

hell
i played it for her
a hundred times if i played it once

i left it just sitting there
almost begging her to take it
so that years later
on a night like tonight
i could mix it
with bittersweet thoughts of her

i have to take my fair share of the blame

in the end
i got what i wanted
being her victim

it made for good
singer/songwriter material
from a less than objective perspective

and hell
i ain't gonna lie
she was pretty

i have to take my fair share of the blame

so when i tell you
she stole this song
it's really not true

truth is
i gave it to her
like a gift
but i wanted it take it back
and couldn't

you can't take back a song

but as i sit here tonight
i have no regrets
no resentments

this is me saying
i'm glad she got to keep it

this is me saying
i hope she still enjoys it
as much as i do

No Poems

if you've show up to the poetry reading

with no poems to read

you better worry

because you can't go on stage with nothing to say

so start looking for an exit

before you get found out

plan your escape to be quick

the door is right there

not even ten feet

get out

and

get out fast

unless

of course

you're a poet

then
you should just grab a pen

On Romance

sparks fly when you put
a couple forks in the microwave
too

[unions are what can]

unions are what can
happen to the cat when mice
all stick together

The Crucifix

i used to go to Gramma's
every Sunday evening

we would order pizza
watch whatever shows
we could agree on

if we couldn't agree
she would go to her bedroom
and i would stay in the living room
watching prime-time cartoons

but either way
every Sunday night
when Gramma wasn't looking
i would turn the crucifix
hanging on her wall
upside down

i did it every time
couldn't help myself

after a while
when she realized i wasn't going to stop
she would just turn it back and say
"God gave you you're sense of humor"

After Being Buzzed In

everyone's eyes are filled
with what could have been

some girls are alone
others accompanied by lovers
all waiting for their names to be called

fidgeting with their thumbs
or a button on a jacket
their minds race
with regrets of lust

desperate to escape
these circumstances of impulse 
they start making plans
to avoid ever coming back

[she gasps like a night]

she gasps like a night
that has been waiting to end
and my cock is dawn

[our walks were a dance]

our walks were a dance
to the music of friendship
songs i won't forget

Cheeseburger

on a night back in 1998
at the 24 hour Happy Chef diner
in Fort Dodge, Iowa

when both of us were drunk
and stoned
and not vegetarian

i sold my soul to Ben Clark
for a cheeseburger

it doesn't cross my mind too often
but sometimes
when i think about the things he's done
with his own soul
i do get a little worried

Small Groups

the crowd is divisive
full of bickering ideologies
and overstimulated thoughts of 
what makes us different

we lose sight of the fact
that we are all human
living with grave mortality

our love becomes transparent
juxtaposed against our fears

but as the crowd shrinks down
we start to see each other
and are able to focus
on the true heart of our matter

in small groups
brothers and sisters
are found

Directions

before we can ever climb to the top

we are going to have to come

to some agreement

of where the top is

[man that lives to yearn]

man that lives to yearn
sips at the tit of poison
no will, but to die

Which Art in Milwaukee

my body
is not a temple
it is more
like a corner bar in Wisconsin

kneeling
at the alter of a shot
and a Pabst Blue Ribbon tall boy

for thine is the kingdom
and the power
and the glory
forever and ever
until 2 a.m.

Bukowski

on the surface
you are correct
he was an asshole
a drunk
maybe even
a misogynist

but if you keep reading
you will find in the undertones
golden eggs of hope
hatched in a world of shit

prayers offered to selfish gods
that would sooner not exist
than to answer

deep in all of the acridity
acrimony and ugliness
there was a tiny spark
of beauty

and if you're the kind of person that gets it
then you'd know
that a tiny spark
is all it takes
to keep a man going

Once a Fat Kid...

every doughnut tastes like taunting classmates
laughing and making jokes

at your expense

every slice of pizza reminds you of the girls
that wouldn't go out with you

in middle school

so you watch what you eat

stay active to stay attractive

and buying a pair of pants

with a size 34 waistline

feels like a victory

but when they start getting

difficult to button

you know it's a fight

that lasts a lifetime

Created Nor Destroyed

for one minute
my clock dreamed of infinity

forever stood still
in a timeless moment

hidden from death and deadlines
i heard the cosmos whisper
immortal secrets
and in those seconds
i knew i was alive

She Is Beautiful

decorated in soft skin
vines of fire drape around
her fireproof face

my eyes kneel
in worship of a goddess passing by
begging to be in her graces

Voter

a fly caught in web

mistakes irony for sympathy

when the spider asks

"what's eating you?"

[the white angels melt]

the white angels melt

upon boiling lakes of blood

over devils' bread

[paradise fallen]

paradise fallen
at the hand of convenience
plastic destroyer