Every Day Is Father's Day

i was born bastard
and not a day goes by i don't remember that

it is not the only thing
but it was the first thing

sitting on the floor of a kindergarten class
as all the kids were giving their responses
to the teacher's request for our favorite
"stories about Dad"

i hated those fucking kids
that day
and
every day

as i stared out the window of the classroom
mesmerized by a dead winter branch
waving in the cold wind
i hated the teacher

i was pretty well behaved in grade school
mostly because i was always scared
so Mrs. Marquist had a lot of praise
for me

she liked me
and i usually liked her
too

but i hated her that day

more than Mrs. Marquist
more than the kids
i hated their dads

some of them sounded like real assholes
and i could tell by a look on Mrs. Marquist's face
that she thought so too
and that made me start
to like her again

some of the dads liked to yell
and be real mean to the kids
and drink lots of beer
and i hated them

some of the dads were really nice
and i hated them more

i hated the man who Mom told me was in Oregon
and had a different last name than me

it was a lot of hate for a five year old
and it was just the beginning

every day that has come and gone since
every Christmas
every 4th of July
every Monday
every Sunday
every Election Day
every Valentine's Day
and
especially
every Father's Day
only served to remind me
that i am not going to fit in

that i cannot walk with the herd
i cannot fly with the flock
i cannot ride with the wind

i was born bastard
and i will die bastard

every woman is just a woman i do not love

every man is just a man i'll never trust

every holiday is just a holiday i can't
relate to

well...
i guess
Halloween is alright