The Uptowner

it was a wednesday night
and as it was
we'd had plenty to drink
and were on the way back to my place from the first bar

i had to work in the morning
so i couldn't afford a late one
but she stopped caring after her fifth Canadian Club and Coke

in the moment she stormed toward the corner tavern
i saw her turn vicious
a monster as she opened the door

i left my self-respect on the sidewalk as
i followed her in to the second bar

the uptowner was notorious in our neighborhood
known ironically as
home of the beautiful people

i'd been beautiful many nights there myself
but on this night all i could see was how ugly we all looked
especially
her

she couldn't see me at all
through the whiskey on her breath
and though i felt like a fool
i stayed

i wanted to protect her

or maybe
i wanted to possess her

or maybe
a little bit of both

but i should have left

that night was the beginning of me losing something
that for the last three years i have been searching witlessly
to retrieve

i don't care that i eventually lost the girl
i care that i ever found her to begin with
and that i followed her into the uptowner
when i should have just gone home alone
that wednesday night