The Unabomber

in 2007
i was dating Harmony
and working at the call center

during downtime between calls
i used to read
but never anything too dense

usually comic books
Bukowski poems
or library magazines

one night
i ran out of reading material
so i asked a supervisor to print some up

she asked
"like what?"

i said
"uhhh, The Unabomber's Manifesto?"

so that's what i got

it was the first
and last time
i ever read it

now
the guy was nuts
that's no surprise
but what i wasn't prepared for
was how spot-on
and brilliant many of his observations were

we're talking real next level shit
here

that night
after work
Harmony and I went out for some drinks

first
i told her all about the manifesto
and after i told her
i told all of our friends

i hijacked entire conversations that night
talking about the Unabomber

i think Harmony even thought it was kinda cute
she liked that i was unusual

but the next day
the whole world seemed different
everything seemed fake

i felt fake

this wasn't like when i discovered Bukowski and Fante
which were pleasant discoveries
that made me feel less alone
in my contempt for human matters

this was a boat upside down
miles out from shore
and the shore was full of shit
anyways

i felt uncomfortable

we went out for drinks again that night
and again i controlled the dialogue talking about
The Unabomber Manifesto

Harmony hit a breaking point
"you HAVE to stop talking about The Unabomber!"

"yea
but...
we're all automatons...
it's all a live-action program...
we're just playing are parts...
yadayadayada... "
i replied

"okay"
she said
"but you sound fucking crazy!"

"yea
but...
yadayadayada... "

"so
what do you want, Danny?
do you wanna go live out in the woods
alone in a cabin with no indoor plumbing?"

i puffed my chest a bit
and said
"yea, i kinda do!"

Harmony then asked me
"do you think you're going to get any pussy out there?"

and i never mentioned The Unabomber Manifesto again