All My Hoops and Dreams

i remember it was a home game
and my mom and stepdad
were in the stands

when the basketball lifted off my fingers
it felt good

i had a shot
and
i was taking it

all that needed to happen
was for the ball to go
through the hoop

or at least
hit the rim

it didn't

there was a woman
at my first job in Milwaukee
who was studying to be a librarian

she loved Catcher in the Rye
Old Man and the Sea
ate mostly vegetarian
watched The Simpson's
and had an ass the would bust a window

i was 21
but i sobered up for a few weeks
to ask her out

all that needed to happen
was for her to say
yes

or at least
maybe

she didn't

Austin was going to be good for me

i lived there briefly when i was 25
but at 32 i had honed my songwriting
and time was ripe
for return

Red Eyed Fly Mike
gave me some good gigs

Frontier Bar Mike
gave me some good gigs

flyers
facebook invites
and Friday nights
in The Live Music Capitol of the World

all that needed to happen
was for a few people to show up
in the audience

or at least
the band members

they didn't

sitting at a fast food burrito joint
on a Saturday night in Des Moines
i am thinking about all the shots i took

i am trying to be content

with a chest full of heartburn
and a head full of
"didn't"s

i want to appreciate myself
for trying

no one showed up for the gigs
but
i took the shot

the girl said no
but
i took the shot

i didn't make the shot
but
i took the shot