Missing

Tricia Wozniak went missing on November 23rd
1987
walking home from Arey Elementary

first
there were signs all over town
and then reports of police investigations
every day on the front page of the paper

soon after
the Des Moines news channels started running alerts

 large groups of volunteers would set out each night
helping with the search

Gramma would consistently mention it
during dinner with me and Grampa

"i sure hope they find that girl
and she's okay"
Gramma would say to me

"me too"
i always responded

but i didn't mean it

weeks earlier
when the weather was still warm
i was playing a game of kiss-tag with Tricia and some other girls
at recess

it was a splendid moment that broke up my normal malaise of
spending recess alone
or hanging out with the other weird kids

it was so much fun as i would chase the girls around the black-top and
when i caught them
planted one on their cheeks

afterward
on the way back to the classroom
i told Angie
one of the other girls
that we should totally play that game again tomorrow

to which Tricia exclaimed
"the only reason we played that game with you
is because you're fat and gross
and nobody wants to be kissed by you"

my stomach sank

i knew then that there was
and probably always would be
something wrong with me

in the second week of December
while the town was illuminated with festive Christmas decor
they found Tricia's body under Mr. Carlson's porch
and a darkness that no one expects to fall over their small town
had fallen over ours

Gramma bawled for almost ten minutes when the news broke
and before bed she said to me
"i want you to pray for that little girl tonight"

i assured her that i would

but i didn't