Pieces

the world for us is always about to end
but if everything is going to hell anyway
than what good is redemption gonna do us in these last minutes
while we are bonded in temptation
degenerate desires wrapped around our necks
scarves of ill repute

when the angels come out tonight to light our sickened souls
we will be waiting
broken bottles at our feet
broken dreams between our teeth
abusing ourselves in search of what can never be found

we can't wait for serendipity
so we take matters into our own hands
and as we sort through the pieces
we find nothing worth saving

Buying Razors

she would only use a razor twice
before she'd pass it on to me
her skin was too soft

my skin is aged leather
tough from the sun
from the acne as a youth
from getting my face punched in
from walking miles in the cold out of boredom

i don't use cream
or any other sort of lather
i just run the hot water
splash some on my face
and go to work

i can use the same razor for weeks before i switch to a new one

my skin is tough
but now that she's gone
and i have to start buying my own again
it is pathetic how soft i am

A Lemonade Stand

i offer you this glass filled with the bittersweet juice of my soul
i ask nothing more than for you to take a sip
and if you don't like it
pass it to the next

your thirst may not have been the palate i was meant to quench 

Over-hydrate 

when the evening forfeits one last drop
squeeze it for more
because if you are truly thirsty then
you must never settle for all it's got 

[one more is the curse]

one more is the curse

thoughts of the addict arise

slave to my own mind

The Ventriloquist

when the rest of the world seemed so distant

and the invisibility of god was too much to fathom

i turned to a puppet

a stuffed brown dog i had named Grover

i confided in him earnestly

and he listened

offering respite in the solitude of my boyhood

i saw him as a friend

i saw him as real

confided in him

trusted him

until one evening

when reality set upon to my chagrin

and the illusions of my youth were obliterated

at that moment

i saw only a toy

between my face and my right hand

pulled him from my fingers

and tossed him across the dark of my bedroom

i cried deeply that night

for i had lost a friend

and was truly alone

Don't Let The Sun Rise On An Empty Cup

whatever i am to be tomorrow
i will not be thirsty

if it rains
i will drink
if it floods
i will drink more

make the most of this water
guzzle it deeply tonight
and for as many nights as you find yourself
immersed in the juice of life

for one day
and no one knows when that day will come
the body will only find drought

The Beauty of Masturbation

the lavish liberty of lust
unbound in the salacity of self

a lover may take too long
or doesn't take long enough

a lover may manipulate you
keep you hostage in a prison of insecurity
always guessing how you measure up

bathing alone
water running warm
imagination burning hot
ravishing scenarios of carnality bursting
without trepidation
without the discomfort of doubt

just you
your desires
and no one to make you feel like you need to apologize

Modus Vivendi

change is a wave in a sea that all are scared to swim
so we stand safely on land
where we have been
and always will be

fear of drowning leads us
to our least impressive advancements
and in the breathless vacuum of stability
we suffocate the soul

This Is Alone

as we listen the cacophony of caprice
we grow lost in the shambles of our own unmaking

we look to the heavens but they are empty
we look for god but it does not exist
summon the devil but he doesn't answer

scrolling through the list of contacts on a cellphone
we look for anyone who can help
no one can
and eventually we realize
we are on our own

Playtime

Upon the thirteenth minute past the hour of twelve;
time to retire my musings of the day.
Place them all out of reach; these fooleries i must shelve,
but i'll grab them again tomorrow, for play.

Let's Go!

the anticipation was staggering before a punk show
rifling through the closet for that perfect outfit
a faded Misfits tee
and my black leather jacket

but the shows were always a disappointment
as the girls would only talk to the bands
and the bands didn't talk to the fans 
and the fans didn't talk to the fans

i wound up against the wall
never listening to the music as much as
i was lamenting not being the one playing it

and when the vocalists would rant between songs
posture during their sets
it always made me realize why i loved Joey Ramone
so much

stoic and strong at the front of the stage
he stood by his mic like it was his partner in a storm
and they weren't going to let anything happen to each other

showmanship is overrated
attitude is overrated
punk rock is overrated

The Ramones were more than that
more than rock stars
more than gods
they
were the reason i got into this music
and came to these shows

and when i would look around
at any given show of another band
all i could think was that
"nobody is The Ramones"

Veg

i will pass on dinner tonight
for i do not dine on the meat of beasts
i am not here to say what's right
or aggrandize my appetite
i just don't see the animals as feasts

Be Tender In Your Travels

before you decide where you're going
before you buy the ticket
before you pack anything else in your luggage
be sure not to forget your kindness

you will need it
no matter what part of the world you find yourself in
accepted more widely than American Express
Visa
and MasterCard

better than cash

it cannot be traded for goods
and services
but it can get you a helluva lot

The Impatience of Winter

A bleak winter day has come to me
with one rose alive in it's hand.
I am asked when spring will set it free,
when the leaves will return to the tree,
and more roses will bloom in the land.

I say to be patient with the sun;
it has done the same for many years.
The cold, I promise, will soon be done;
flowers will bud, many more than one.
Do not let this snow burden your  tears.

A bleak winter day nods 'cause it knows
I am the last to fashion a lie.
Deep in the frozen dirt it's hope grows
for a partner to pair with it's rose;
waits for the sun to burst through the sky.

We Have To Share The Stars

when they planet we all live on
turns away from the sun
the bejeweled sky is there for us all to see

light from hundreds of years ago
echo onto us
and every one of us can look up
see a small bit of the universe in which all
is

a man cannot horde the stars all to himself
but
if he could
just like land
just like the food supply
just like wealth
he would

What I Won't Be Willing To Give

to have this moment back
years from now
as i recollect on this poem
on this night
it's insignificance shattered with reminiscence

tonight
i miss the days gone by
and years from now
i still will

tonight
i miss the loves i have lost
and years from now
i still will

but years from now
in so many ways i cannot possibly fathom at this moment
i will miss tonight 

A Reindeer Named Cancer

my grandma was hit too
and now it's been ten years of
Christmas without her

i try and do the things that remind of her
play Christmas songs
eat green bean casserole
mention Jesus a few times
whether i'm a believer or
not

i do it for my grandma
to help keep her around in some way
but i do know she's gone
and the saddest thing
about someone being gone
after ten years
is you start to feel used to them not being there

My First Guitar

it was twenty years ago today
i broke my first string
trying to tune my christmas present

i sat there in defeat
thinking quickly that maybe the musician game
wasn't for me

twenty years
and as many bands later
i think i might have been right

Don't Go By The Polls

a politician can never lose

always a banker to lend a hand

a lobbyist says "cut up the land"

a politician can't say no

to a new pair of shoes

a man of the people

debates to no end

a politician can not lack sleep

rested up and ready for the race

same arrogant, smug look on the face

a politician can't say no

to cameras and sheep

a man of the people

cares more for what's said

a politician lives long and well

in his home on the nice side of town

with his family, and payments down

a politician can't say no

to many things so swell

a man of the people

gets shot in the head

Skynyrd

the tuesday playlist for the local radio station
is a bit more predictable than it is on the other days
because there is one song
i know for sure
that i'm gonna hear

and myself
i'm just as predictable
my pensive moments triggered by familiar ballads
reading deeply into the lyricism of not-so-well spoken rock icons
thinking back to the moments of my youth that
were as hard to make it through as these

watching a movie with only my right eye
sophomore year in high school
because the left one was swollen shut

mom out with the devil knows who
contention growing between me and my step dad
the acne
the not fitting in
the not getting the girl
the not feeling hopeful for the future

i wish i could say that things have
changed
a lot
but
at least the acne went away

[no shift to bend flesh]

no shift to bend flesh

full moon shines upon a man

he howls anyway

My Hair Looks Good Today

looking at my reflection in the mirror i feel
confident that i have put together a fine wardrobe
a shave nothing short of swell
and my hair
however thinning
looks pretty good

just enough cologne to put a faint scent of spice in the air
clean boxers
polished shoes
and minty-fresh breath

yep
i'm lookin' sharp
so i doubt anyone will notice how horribly hopeless i feel

Universal

when you cannot use your words

because you are gagged with doubt

and don't know what to say

know that

silence is okay

if the semantics are daunting

and the definitions are unclear

then be willing to hold your tongue

it won't go anywhere

if the waitress doesn't speak the same language

it's alright to point at the menu

but be smiling when you do

and tip well

always tip well

when you cannot use your words

use your love

because everyone understands love

There Was A Girl

i have never understood why this feeling walks with me

all i can do is hope for the moments

brief as they are

that i am able to get ahead of it

the first time i can remember doing so
was at my uncle's wedding reception in Springfield, Missouri

a girl named Jess

wearing a light blue dress

danced the night away with me

i kept losing my breath
and it was good that way

if only i could have stayed on that dance floor

with her

i found out she died

about ten years ago

in her early twenties

from what

i don't know

but in my own small way

i do my best to keep her alive

i see the two of us

me
a fat kid in a grey tux

her
blonde and sweet in her light blue dress

dancing

young

full of life

The Wind Is An Asshole

after it blows out your last match

it goes to a bar
and laughs over whiskey

telling the story of the look on your face

Hunt Only Roses

even if you find yourself in an endless field of weeds
even in the big dead desert
even if your hands stay empty
do not pick at the weeds
they are not why you hunt

fruitless as your reasons may seem
you hunt
not for the kill
but for the love of looking

so don't settle for a weed
keep looking
and if enough roses you never find
then
keep
looking

Definitions

before you say it
think long and hard about what it means
and do not let it control you

instead
let it drape over your shoulders
like a blanket
and you've just come in from the cold

love is more meaningful
if it doesn't mean so damn much

For All The Good Of The Day

for all the good of the day
she sought
the places where youths did play
a few kind words to say
a light to make her darkness grey
but none was found
nor could be bought

for all the good of the day
she searched
the places where lovers kiss
and laugh of that and this
so her malaise she could dismiss
but hours downed
she still felt hurt

for all the good of the day
she looked
inside her heart for delight
a love that offered might
to help her make it through the night
but tightly wound
her hands still shook

A Selfish Kid Can Dream, Can't He?

if just one of these fuckin' bottles had a genie in there
with a couple rubs and a few wishes
i could really soup up this life of mine

i would wish first that i could type faster
so the poetry could just come spilling out of me
a bursting pipe of verse

next
i would wish for everlasting youth
so that i never had to worry about the days running out
and there would be all the time in the world to accomplish
what i'd like to accomplish

lastly
i would wish that i was less selfish

ehh
on second thought
scratch that third wish
money
i'll take money

The Trinity

Charles
with his typewriter and bottles
a bluebird held hostage in his heart
all the women he wanted
all the jobs he didn't
and enough verse to soothe the madness

Joey
with his fist pumping in the air
long black hair draping over his shades
a heart so full of love that
even in his last days he told us
not to worry about him

Nina
with her piano
queen of the sad angels
her shivering voice come to earth
to shame the evil doers
and offer respite to the broken lonely hearts

in these three souls
i have found my church

[sun upon his skin]

sun upon his skin
vampire takes to coffin
'til night falls once more

"Now, That's You"

the Amtrak station in Austin, Texas 
my second fail in this city
complete

tail between my legs
and soul
still on fire

a man
no more homeless than i
hands me a damp cloth

"wipe that dirt off them nice shoes
playa"

i do
and
he's right

i was meant to shine

Listerine

the mint of memories fools us into thinking
we had fresher breath
back then

Waiting

little moments of life
flutter away
at red lights
at bus stops
at the restaurant for dinner with
a friend that is running late

you look at your phone
don't see it
look at it again

pick at a loose thread in your shirt
and another empty moment
flutters
away

Hey Baby, Wanna Make A Mistake?

last call is only twenty minutes away
so if we don't act soon
no matter how much vodka we've drank tonight
it will not have been enough
to blur our blemishes when the ugly lights come on

so let's order one more
down it quick
and get back to your place
before we start to think with reason

The Leash (Until It Breaks)

i am domesticated
to the point
and only to the point
i am provided with my treats

take those away
and the hound will come forth
and the leash will become tight
with my jaws
as close as they can reach your throat

Dope Springs Eternal

there will always be a drug
and a man to use it

inebriation
an event longer lived than fire

so
if you don't wanna
drink up
smoke up
or shoot up
that's fine

but
shut up

Two Wrongs

i kneel on
two
bad knees
i clasp together
two
idle hands
and pray through
two
dirty lips

"please god
make it right"

Heaven Is A Bottle

i shuffle the flames like a deck of cards
bluff the devil with a look of self-doubt
the match strikes
a cigarette ignites
and i'm all in

there is no gamble
this is a sure thing
i've sat at this table many times

so i order my first drink
and rest
knowing
the angels are their way

Dwight And Dee

Gramma was in Kansas City for a few weeks
visiting uncle Dan

seventeen
fresh on the sauce
house to myself
i got shitty and sad every night
listening to a Dwight Yoakam ballad on repeat

until i got shittier
and started punching the air to Twisted Sister songs

now
i have calmed and moderated quite a bit since then
but
i still rock that playlist sometimes

573-

i was four years old when i dialed
from a Randall's payphone
for the first time
a number i will never forget

i pressed each number with determination
listening to the corresponding tone of each
with wonder and pride

finally i pressed the last
and it began to ring
two rings
and then
a voice answered

a voice i will never forget

Self-Sufficient

no sympathy for Humpty Dumpty

i have fallen
often
in life
and never once
have i relied up the king's horses
nor his men

i can put myself back together

Conviviality

i remember Milwaukee voices
as i listen to my Austin friends drunkenly rant

red eyes
and red faces
same conversations
in different places

anywhere in the world
and i will find the party

Some Nights The Dog Bites Deep

teeth sink into the tissue until they grind at the bone
and when it's got you
it won't so easily let go

it will take the day
and some of tomorrow
plenty of food and water in the bowl
before this canine releases its jaws

Pass The Lexicon

i'm trying to find the words that can make a life better
but feel like i'm losing at Scrabble
i can't find the right letter

To Beat The Stillness

one must move
shake the martini until
it is as blended as the blood
of ancestry

rock the boat
and if it capsizes
be ready to swim

run deep into the abyss
shouting at the top your lungs
toward the stones

they will crack

mountains fall at the deafening echo of 
your heart

an avalanche to bury the stillness
remains of idleness beneath a grave of rubble
and a tombstone that reads:
"Here lies the aftermath of one never unmoved"

The Compass

what she says has gravity

a truth that pulls you closer to the ground

brings your feet to meet the earth and demands you walk a mile

in your own shoes

and see that the toe is starting to crack a bit

your footwear is not impervious to doubt

nor is your destination

but when judgement is cast it is up to you

to either let bitterness overwhelm you to a point where you stand still

or to truly examine your direction

and there is nothing wrong with turning around

going back the other way

it is your path

any

way

it goes

so when she forces you to take a look at it

and you see you are indeed traveling the direction you desire

you should feel fortunate to have a heart that works well
as a compass

A Shadow In The Night

i remember being lost in your streets
unable to properly pronounce their names
i was a shadow in the night when i first came to you

over the years i learned you well
better than many
not only the streets and their names
but the alleys
the bike paths
the short cuts
the back of my hand

you are the city after my own heart
my first
my true
my only
which is why it was so hard every time i left you
a shadow in the night

Don't Push It

if the fountain runs dry
revel in your thirst
for your parched tongue is the well from which springs forth
rushing waters of inspiration

And They Call Them The Fairer

Upon meeting her brother for the first time
he was told,
"If you hurt her,
I'll kill ya."

"I understand,"
he replied,
"but what happens if she hurts me?"

Her brother shrugged,
"Nothing."

"That's not really fair,
is it?"

"It never is with women."

Until The Bell

the corner post are traps
stay away from the ropes
soon enough the bell will ring
and even if you don't live long
you can't live with giving up
a fighter from the guts out
keep slipping
stay up
don't
quit 

It Takes A Certain Courage

let me brave myself for another day

for i am convinced that out there somewhere is a moment of peace

worthy of all the pangs in the pile

let me have the strength to bear this body

this face

this soul

for i have no options for others

and i am not ready to give up on the beauty

just yet

give me the clarity to look into the night sky

and see how small i juxtapose against it

but let me bask in the sheer enormity of my heart

A Good Listener

the platitudes of peace are always here
but i never am
i am out there in the muck of madness
out of mind and stuck inside it
all at once

i try to hear you
but my own voice is so loud in my head
the volume grows deafening as it raves on
and on
until i have seemingly no choice but to listen

The Kiss

soft lips of destiny

she brings me to my knees

kiss her desperately

she rains all over me

Grace

i have seen angels in hell
banished from heaven where questions are not tolerated
where a doubt will cost you your wings

there are big enough holes is god's law
to make a halo look like a cheerio
but it is of no matter

he sits upon a throne carved in ego
and he's going to keep it that way

The Haunt

against all exorcism
you bind tightly
into the chains around my soul

i can not cast you
out
i can not pray you
away

with no godly recourse
i learn to live in the ubiquitous evocation
of your damned spirit

2015: A Year of Low Expectations

humbled in the presence of clouds
he begs of the thunder to bring lightening
for the storm seems empty without its
bright cracks in the sky that demand notice of the moment

he fears what will become of us in the winds of tomorrow
with the intolerant disciples of Aeolus blowing hard
to keep us still

if the rain doesn't stop falling
if the weather never changes 
what difference does a day make?

and if the snow never melts
then what good is a new year anyway?

I Am Not Lost

an unfinished puzzle 
can easily blame one piece

but 
somewhere out there is a piece convinced that it is the rest of the puzzle that is missing

Justice

a heart will beat the strongest in a man hungry for salvation
thirsty for the water of truth
not the cocktail of systems

greed is a blindfold worn by bullies
afraid to open their eyes
afraid of the soul

Extinguished

my fingers covered in fire and she's afraid to get burned

the flames are melting the paint off the walls

and everyone in the room is choking on embers

how can i blame her for not taking my hand?

If The Wool Fits...

straight and narrow is the path that leads down the road
by the house where the children with balloons throw rocks at broken clowns
where mommies pop xanax in the bathroom
wash it down with a glass of cab in the kitchen
and daddies drink bud light with their buddies
over the grill in the backyard

everybody doing what they're told
just like good little boys and girls
mommies and daddies too
obeying all the rules

their lives are not lived
they're tailored

Shuffling The Blame

i talk to the stars
tell them we gotta straighten up
but they don't hear me

i implore the moon
but she is preoccupied
dancing with the clouds

every morning the sun is angry
and he asks me
"what the hell went on here last night?"

"listen,"
i say
"you gotta talk to the night sky, man"

The Grass

i hop the fence
and as soon as i do i see
how green it was there
so i hop back
and it's the same all over again

i keep repeating this
but no matter how often i try
the other side seems to be somewhere i can never get to

Context

in the cold beginnings of December

the mouse shivers at the witch's door

she greets him with a smile

"oh, you poor dear

let me make you dinner"

she says

silly fool mistakes himself for a guest of honor

The Most Important Page

notebooks have been stacked in precarious piles
filled with short stories
bad drawings
and
of course
poems

you have littered desktops and laptops with a near exorbitant amount
of word documents containing the verses you hold so dear
but again i must remind you

he who wrote
was
a poet
he who writes
is

of all the pages you have vandalized with your "art"
the one you ought most cherish is the one yet untouched
the blank page
the most important page

so grab a pen
and get to work
before your destiny escapes

A Captain's Retrieval Mission

i swim back to the beast of the sea
because the foot of remorse is bruised by land
and the soul of my crew is out there somewhere waiting for me

out to the middle of the atlantic i dive deep
in search of the ship i lost in the storm
sunken vessel where the ghosts of my men are patient
knowing i would not forever leave them behind

that i would return to take the helm of their grave
and sail them into the sweet morning light of helios

Lullabies And Laments

falling becomes of the eyelids
the dream state starts to work its wonder
but what i must question each night is
whether my subconscious will lead me to somewhere pleasant 
or if i am in for another nightmare

A Modest Cup of Coffee

i don't expect anything from you
but if it's not too much to ask
i would greatly appreciate even a teaspoon of sugar

on bitter days like this
a bit of sweetness goes a long way

Bloodsuckers

no crucifix big enough to ward off their army
these vampires feeding off the blood of our families
putting our fathers into the graves they have never known
turning our mothers into whores that lay beside them in their coffins

with spells of darkness
and devilish charms
they convince their victims to take the blame
for overcrowded cemeteries

Young Man

youth in his favor with young women in his reach
a whole world ahead of him
but the silly son of a bitch doesn't even know it

instead of seizing the day
he spends his time obsessing over dead poets
and staring at walls that never move
out windows towards a life he is afraid to take by the balls

weak in his self-doubt
he constructs his misery into a well crafted fortress of isolated ego
celebrating himself with a grand sense of malaise
as if darkness is the only thing that matters
as if cheer was foolery
as if confidence was in need of shunning

not often caught smiling
because it clashes with his black outfits and his Joy Division records
his brooding sense of fashion

he calls it art instead of madness
calls himself a misanthrope instead of a chickenshit
because it feeds into the illusion that his mistakes are noble
wears his fear like a badge of honor
and carries his woes around like morbid little trophies

silly son of a bitch

if only i could give him
a good
swift
kick in the ass

Black

standing outside The Foundation Tiki Bar in Milwaukee
i light a cigarette and he asks me if i have another
i tell him no because i'm cheap
and selfish

a squad car pulls up and two officers jump out
tell him to put his hands up
frisk him without any explanation
and he does as he is told
quietly
compliantly 

when they find nothing they start back to their squad car
but not before looking at me with a friendly smile
and telling me to have a nice night

they drive off looking for another black man
he doesn't fuss
he doesn't complain
he doesn't say a word

"shit, man
i lied
here's a cigarette"

he smiles
understands
and thanks me

"ya know,"
he says
"that mighta gone a lot worse if you wasn't right here"

and
i believe him

I'd Die For A Kiss

it's been so long without a touch
lips pressed deeply against mine
fingers brushing through my beard or the hair on my chest

i have reclaimed my virginity
bumbling and nervous in the presence of a beautiful woman
the memory of making love is a dream
something that seems to have never really happened

a sweet pair of eyes that gaze into mine
a gentle voice that softly says "i love you"
validation of another person that shares a naked body with
my naked body

they say you have to love yourself first
and
that
may be
the problem

Salt of the Earth

I met J.D. in a dive bar downtown Austin
fresh off the train from Milwaukee
inappropriately dressed for the Texas summer

he played drums in my friend Steve's band
and worked in the offices at the flagship Whole Foods store
he was from Buffalo and had been living in Austin for 9 years

we shared a few rounds of cocktails
and stepped out to the alley to smoke some weed while i told him my story
that i had no where to stay and was planning on crashing at the shelter
until i got on my feet

he said i was salt of the earth and could crash on his couch
that i could use him as a reference to get a job at the store
and he'd think about playing drums with me once i got settled

 we caught a cab back to his crib
smoked bong-rips and drank Icehouse
while we passed the acoustic guitar back and forth

i never really did settle into the town that second time around
but i stayed afloat
got the job
and he did play drums with me for a while
until i told him i was more of an artist than a musician

to which he replied
"well, i'll buy you a fuckin' canvas for your birthday
but i only play with musicians"

the best friends will tell you like it is
but they'll always lend a hand when you're in need

Isolation

darkened basement of the soul
crowded with horded fears and resentments
where no light can get in

a cage is the state of a troubled mind

Paul Setser and the Rest Of Us

visceral were the nights we stood upon a stage together
each of us armed with an instrument and a cocktail
and hearts that beat like tempos

we put on a show
but we weren't put-ons
the music was very real to us
in us

the song was our god
and Paul Setser was the christ

the bar lights were more beautiful than the moon
the twinkle in the drunks' eyes more beautiful than the stars
and when they all sang along
or someone would buy us a round of shots
we felt like we'd won something

we were glad to have learned our instruments
pleased to have found one another
blessed to have found Setser

those nights
however fleeting and long ago
were the greatest nights i have ever known

[slept through my alarm]

slept through my alarm
there's no time to make coffee
can't be late again

A Requiem for My Decaying Teeth

broken headstones in a cemetery of disrepair
bacteria running rampant 
feeding off the bones of the dead

decay cannot be undone
time will always bring about the irreversible spoil of the end
so the grave must be excavated before the rot spreads
because when death arrives
it remains

the only hope for the living is to
let go
and bury the dead elsewhere

All I Want For Christmas Is A Life I Can Afford

i'd like to visit the doctor
to see what state my health is in
and the dentist
to fix some broken teeth
without
worrying if the bill can be paid

i'd like to find a modest apartment
in a neighborhood close enough to where i work
that i can walk there
or bicycle in the summer
a place with a working kitchen sink
a shower
a toilet
cupboards and a refrigerator
with
room for groceries
without
worrying if the bill can be paid

i'd like a new phone
so i can text my friends
and call my family on birthdays
nothing fancy
without worrying

a job where my hard work is compensated fairly
a community where people look out for one another
a life where death doesn't sometimes seem like a way out

just to know that the bills can be paid
and a little left over to be
comfortable

Jail Ain't So Great

the bottle seems to have gotten the best of me again
and it only reaffirms my suspicions that i should dry my pallet
because i don't look good in stripes

so i sit on the cot
staring at my socks
starving for an answered prayer
desperate for a lost god
and still foolishly thirsty to dance in the fire

when released
i get off light with a fine
and walk home in the dirty clothes i was wearing when
they brought me in

i walk by the house i grew up in
and i can't believe what has become of me

i had potential
i had a dream
i had hope

where did it all go?

Attendance

there's no real reason for you to keep showing up here
we all know
that you don't want to be here
you just like pretending that you do
lying to yourself
lying to us

nothing good is going to come of this
so why don't we just lock the door
and leave you out in the cold?
let you freeze out there
instead of tracking in mud
and ruining this nice clean carpet

it's not that we don't see that you appreciate the offer
but our love is not a cocoon for the caterpillar of your self-loathing
and you will not suddenly become a butterfly
simply because that's what we want

Heather Hendrickson

i got used to being afraid early on
looking at you
wanting you
and not saying a damn word

it became a habit
to keep my mouth shut
and doubt myself
let things slip away that were right there within my grasp

i don't know what would have happened if i'd told you
how
much
i was
in love with you

i don't know if you felt it too
and i don't know if i was just young and foolish
but
it's the not knowing that still bothers me

I'll Still Fly

heaven throw me out
but i'm keeping the halo
you should have no doubt
i am ready for limbo

so hold me
over the fire
of burning desire
i'll still fly

so hold me
down to the pyre
contempt of the choir
i'll still fly

cast me down with the devil
and he shall
cast me in stone
crown me the crown of exile
and i shall
be one to roam

heaven shun my soul
but i will keep on dreamin'
place me in the hole
alongside with the demon

so hold me
trial for judgement
in your begrudgement
i'll still fly

so hold me
in purgatory
take back your glory
i'll still fly

The Vegan Goes Home for Thanksgiving

not knowing what else to do
his family chained him in the basement
with a tofurky and a kombucha tea

he pined for a Whole Foods
and a book of poems
nowhere to be found

with bits of dead bird stuck between their teeth
they asked him
"what are you thankful for?"

Star Trek

where every man has gone before
and i don't think i'll  be too far behind you
but still
it's too bad that we couldn't make peace

it's too bad that we ever fell from
each others graces to begin with
though that is how it happened
and regret is as useless as a feeling to a Vulcan

but i can't watch a rerun of The Next Generation without
wishing
and wondering what if
things had gone another way
for us