A Liar in the Light

"there is light
too
my
friend"
he condescended

he was a liar

not about the light
i know there is light
too

i have seen it
been brought to tears and knees
before it

i have wept "hallelujah"
and sang "oh, happy day!"

as a boy i called it god
as a man i call it love
but i know it is there

that was not the issue

what made him a liar
is to dare
in my moment of darkness
which i shared as if it were my
only bridge to reach the light
to call me "friend"

and the sad thing about it
is not that he was lying to me

i knew he was not my friend
and he knew that i knew

it was in his desperation
to avoid identifying with my brutality
and perpuate his pious illusion of self

as if denying the dark place in my heart
meant there was none in his own