Midnight Confession

she pulled her knees into her chest

as the candles crashed against the wall

in the next room

glass and wax exploded

over the hardwood floors of his upper flat

and this is how he let her know

he was in control

the family downstairs was used to it

by then

they heard it with the last woman

and the one before that

too

he never hit them

but he used the walls

and the doors

and the refrigerator

to show them what would happen

if he did

on that night 

it was the candles

vessels of his insecurities 

terrifying the woman in the next room

why?

what did/didn't she do?

fuck if he can remember now

you would think

something important enough

to make one half destroy their own residence 

would be worth remembering

but
it wasn't really about
her

it was about himself
and in that perfect storm of his ego

the distinction between a girlfriend 

and a hostage

wasn't an easy one to make

not until
years later

not until 

she was gone

not until he realised the
one
common factor
in all of his dysfunctional relationships

someday
he thinks

he'll call her

or send her a private message on facebook

saying he's sorry

or

being the coward that he is

maybe he'll just hope she reads this

and knows that he is