A Poem for Mom

i will never know why you hurt the way that you did

but i have always known how

it is hard to recover yourself from the debris

when disaster is all around you

when the rubble is thick and heavy

most days you just don't have the strength to sort through it all

overlooked in the mess of everything

in this world full of broken pieces

you were lost

i don't blame you anymore

i don't resent you anymore

i forgive you

i have to

because i am you

we have the same heart

you and i

and it's that kind of heart that wears you down

crashes into the wall and puts a hole there that takes so much work to patch up 

it is just easier to live with the wreckage

simpler to ignore the damage

than to try to fix it

we'll both always have our regrets

there are no do-overs

there are no second chances

so we just have to deal with it

as it is

we have the same heart

you and i

though our minds may be quite different

and we will never understand each other

but i still love you anyway

and i hope that someday the darkness will lose us

like we lost ourselves